Procrastination will cause you problems. I know, I know, that is not exactly earth-shattering news. It really isn’t news to me, as I have heard that all my life. One of these days I am going to investigate it more thoroughly.
Those of you who have read my blog since its early days (February and March of this year) may recall an article I wrote about my demon-cat, Marshmallow, giving birth to a huge litter of kittens. The kittens grew up, we gave away six of them and kept one for ourselves. His name is Tony and thankfully he is much nicer and smarter than his mom.
Now the logical thing to do would of course be to have Marshmallow “fixed” so that her “maternal instincts” would be somewhat curbed. We had every intention of doing that. Then summer came. We were busy with a building dedication, Vacation Bible School, vacation after VBS, and getting ready for school to start (it starts in July down here, no kidding). I remember one evening in June, my wife and I were standing on our porch, looking at this beast who had a deceptively-peaceful look on her face (one ear forward, one ear backward, eyes slightly crossed–it usually means she is hatching some new nefarious plot to make my life miserable). My wife said, “We need to get Marshmallow fixed”. I said, “I know, let me go get my shotgun and I will take care of it”.
My wife stated that she was serious. So was I.
Anyway, time went by and we never got around to the vet.
Guess what?
If you guessed more kittens, you win the prize. (To claim your prize, send me your shipping address and your preference of male or female).
Five more little furry reprobates, but it gets worse.
We had been leaving the screen door on our front porch propped open so that Marshmallow and Tony could come and go as they pleased. This past Monday morning, we walked out on the porch and discovered that some “nice” person had snuck up during the night and left a four-week old kitten on the porch and shut the door.
My cat herd count is back up to eight again.
I’ve come to the conclusion that God uses cats to judge me. The first litter was punishment for me losing my temper with Marshmallow. This second litter is for procrastination. This makes me really glad that I am saved and going to heaven because now I’m pretty sure that hell will be filled with cats.
You know those awful creatures that the Apostle John talked about in Revelation that came out of the bottomless pit?
What he didn’t say is that they will have one ear cocked forward, the other one backward, and their eyes are slightly crossed.
Heavenly Heartburn 
Dude. This is hilarious. Thank you!
I have 3 cats (yeah, we were late on fixing one, too) and I feel every word of this post. If you come up with a scriptural justification for the shotgun approach, let me know. ;-P
You should have learned by now that your honeydew list comes first I hope this does not have a psychological effect on your half-full glass? RON.
this is just to funny?
Thanks I need a good laugh! 🙂
Bro! Two words for you: Sack and Rock.
Codepoke, I don’t know if there is a scriptural basis for the shotgun approach. On the other hand, neither does the Bible prohibit it. I believe that it is probably a matter of Christian liberty. My conscience is clear. 🙂
Bro. Ron, one of these days I’m gonna figure that out about how to put my honeydo list first. Just as soon as I get over procrastinating.
Janice, glad you enjoyed it.
Cameron, it’s a little too late for that approach. They have reached the “cute” stage and I might have a revolt on my hands.
Procrastination is very easy. But it is deadly.
Funny, very funny!
“One of these days I am going to investigate it more thoroughly.”
I really think you should put this off.
You know, I was going to tell you that I could take one of those cute little furballs off of your hands. But the window of opportunity is closed. It closed last night. I was going to ask you for one yesterday afternoon… But I procrastinated!
Sorry…
Matthew, how right you are.
Glad you liked it Don.
Joe, one day I’m gonna do just that.
Danny, you are such a blessing.
Gordon,
Herein is one of my character flaws…procrastination! I just keep waiting for my bad habit to change.:) Know what you need? A dog…man’s best friend you know?:)
If I were at home, I’d have you send me a couple. I drove by Valdosta the other day. Had I known I could have driven by and taen a couple of them off your hands.
If you don’t stop talking bad about cats, I’m going to cross you off my list…don’t you wish…just kidding.
This is hysterical!! hell is full of cats!! indeed…well…I’m sure that the mark of hthe beast could be attributed to a cat…I’ve certainly have more than my share of that kind of mark!