It all started with a new couch. Our old couch had been with us for a number of years and had outlived its usefulness. My wife decided that she wanted a new couch for Christmas. We saved and shopped (and shopped and shopped…) I found several that I thought slept (SAT, I mean sat) pretty good, but she had her heart set on a leather sofa. We finally found one that looked good, was comfortable and didn’t cost more than the rest of our furniture combined.
I need to back up here and tell you about our cat, Marshmallow (she is a reprobate). She was born to our old cat KiKi (who hated me) about two years ago. When she was born, she was pure white and looked just like a fluffy little marshmallow, so my boys (of catfishing fame) wanted to name her Marshmallow. When she was about 5 weeks old, her mother disappeared. That should have been my first clue that this cat was trouble.
This cat loves to irritate me. I have never done anything to her (okay, not much anyway). Her favorite trick is to wait for me to fall asleep in my easy chair and then knock my drink over on me. Let me tell you, friend, you haven’t lived until you are resting easy in the Lazy-boy on Sunday afternoon and suddenly are deluged in ice water. There are times when this reprobate cat really gets on my nerves.
Now, back to the couch. We had just brought this beautiful new couch into our home, when I found this reprobate sharpening her claws on it. Nice little scratches on the nice new sofa. In the heat of the moment I picked this cat up and immediately (and relatively gently, I might add) banished her to the outdoors. I think I failed to mention that since we always kept her indoors, we had never bothered to have her spayed. You guessed it.
Over the past two months, this cat has gotten progressively bigger. Her growing belly indicated that soon we would be blessed (?) with some cute little furry reprobates. Her belly kept growing and growing until she reached the size of a bowling ball (not exaggerating). She could no longer walk straight, only wobble.
Not being well versed in feline obstetrics, I decided to do a little research. I have recently been discovering the joys of Wikipedia and so looked up what they had to say about it. Let me tell you that while they certainly are informative, they are in now wise infallible. I will elaborate.
This pool of knowledge told me that most cats on their first litter will usually produce 3 or 4 kittens. I breathed a sigh of relief. That wasn’t too bad, we could probably find homes in our neighborhood for that many without too much trouble. Besides, it would be “educational” for my boys.
Imagine my surprise, when yesterday morning, she gave birth to not 3 or 4 or 5 or 6, but 7 (read SEVEN!) little reprobates. I may sue Wikipedia.
Does anybody want a kitten…please?