Somebody Help Me, Please!

I need help.

My wonderful wife left yesterday to attend a minister’s wives retreat. I talked with her a little while ago and she is having a wonderful time. The situation on the home-front however is rapidly decaying.

My two sons, ages 8 and 9, went down to their little hideout in the swamp behind our neighbor’s house (we live in the country). I was sitting at my desk working on the computer when I heard a very timid knock on the door. I went to the door and there were both them, (I think) covered from head to toe in mud. In the words of that late, great, agrarian philosopher, Jerry Clower, “Boys, it would be easier to have two more than it would be to clean you up!”

My first inclination was to take them out to the spigot and hose them down, but it was a little cool today so I just told them to undress and head for the tub. As they peeled off their clothes, I tried to get the story from them. They were so pitiful that I couldn’t help but laugh even while I was trying to be stern. It seems that one of them got his foot stuck in the mud and lost a boot (brand new), his brother tried to rescue the boot and fell in. Then the first one tried to help his brother and fell in too. I still haven’t figured out exactly who the “first one” or the “other” is.

When we finally got them cleaned up, my oldest one said, “Boy, I sure am glad we lived through that!” To which I replied, “You haven’t made it yet, wait until your mama gets home and finds out.”

I was prepared to deliver judgment, but they were very repentant so grace prevailed.

I miss my wife.


18 responses to “Somebody Help Me, Please!

  1. boys will be boys! lol did you have to scrub the tub when you did get them washed off? or did you just hose them down? 😀

  2. My soft-hearted self would be thankful that they weren’t hurt. Then, I would explain to them why a mud bath is really not necessary for boys their age. 🙂

    Can’t you turn them onto much cleaner activities like archery?

  3. We have two boys also, 6 and 10. It is fun and always an adventure, is it not? (Just ask the 8 year old sister in the middle!)
    You’ll be happy when your wife gets home!

  4. o dear! what an experience…and you thought you were gonna have some quiet time! hehe

    what’s the lesson? you’re learning just how much value your wife really has! and when she gets back you will give her a little time to recoop from the trip and then you will take her out on that special date that she deserves sooooo much!

    seriously, i suspect you already know her value. pretty evident in that she’s away having some “girl” time. so hang in there and enjoy those boys!


    ps. but taking her out on that date is still a good idea!

  5. Bring back any memories?

    Everything seems to go down hill when “Momma” isn’t around!

  6. Gordon,
    Wouldn’t it be fun to go back and be a boy again? Don’t you ever think of doing things like that again?
    Of course if you are half a century old, like me, then of course not. You evidently are not that age if you still have young ones at home.

  7. No Average Girl–yes I had to clean the tub.

    Mark–that’s a point to ponder.

    Rose–Never a dull moment, huh?

    Radical One–good advice.

    Cameron–Does weenies for supper sound familiar?

  8. T.A.–I am closer to your age than I am to their’s.

  9. Sweet post. I love it when husbands miss their wives. 🙂
    And thanks for visiting my blog!

  10. It reminds me of an episode from my own childhood. Only my brothers and I intentionally had a mud fight for fun. I can tell you my mother was not pleased.

  11. “weenies for supper”

    I was actually thinking of bodily harm, but hey…I guess that would almost be synonymous with “vienna sausage” pan fried in soy sauce.

    I still have nightmares.

    BTW…11 (you owe me!)

  12. Cameron, bad memory, Dude!

  13. Hi Gordon, Thanks for the visit.

    We are in Iowa now, just got in about 8:30 this evening, 1-28.

    So you fell for the old boot in the mud thing, huh? Wait til they are driving and it was ‘hit the curb or the dog’ story.

    Hope your wife makes it back soon to the rescue.

  14. good story. i’m sure i’ll have plently like it when my one year old son is older….:) thanks for stopping by my blog. God bless….

  15. Very Nice Gordan. Thanks for sharing their mischief.

  16. What a nice post. I love the image of your sons knocking quietly at the door.

    Flowers for your wife if you can’t swing the date night!

  17. Believe it or not, Gordon, I had this EXACT same thing (right down to the “boot got stuck in the mud”) happen to my boys. Wow! Kharma! he he

  18. Mac and Cheese or Ramon is the staple around our house when Mom is gone (or whenever Dad fixes dinner). I find that the ‘first one’ to get stuck was the one who got pushed in by the ‘other’ one who tried to help so that he wouldn’t get in trouble.
    You are a softy, the hose is my answer cool or not (I figure if it was good enough for me when I did those things then it has to be good enough for my boys (and girls). Great story Gordon! I loved it!

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